Visions & Views from a Visiting Voyeur

Loud mouth insight to the nothing and nowhere. Deep thoughts and questions that have no where else to go...

This morning, after mopping around, I decided to go for a walk. Last night my son and I were talking and I pointed out to him how the only way to change things you don't like is to do something about it. So what does this have to do with a walk? Well I am just going to say it. I have been in a pity party for one for way to long. I needed to get out and clear my head so amidst the noon day sun I took off down the road.

I walked for about a quarter of a mile and came to my all to familiar stop sign and detour. As I walked closer to it I started thinking about turning the opposite way. Nervousness held me. Going that way leads deeper into the country. In the country there is less traffic and possible danger. Okay so I am probably just blowing a bit out of proprotion I tell myself. See I have seen and experienced things in my life that that make me leary. I tend to find myself in situations that are scary so making a decision to travel down the direction less taken isn't a light one for me. It means I have to face my fears.

I thougth about when I was a child. I loved Robert Frost's poem "The Road Less Taken". I pledged to myself to not be "one of the crowd". To take a chance at going to where others won't go. That road has been full of rich wisdom and knowledge. I have gone down it and came out a live. I don't think I really realized that that road less traveled is a lonely scary road. Now here I am with a real road less traveled wondering should I turn and walk down it.

I turned down the road and the smells of the grass in the field and the creek running brought me back to my childhood. Times where I remember walking miles to my sisters friends houses or jumping off the tree trunk into the murkey waters of the creek by our house. Lazily swimming in its cool waters, splashing and taking in the war sun. Riding bikes down the dirt roads, struggling to ride up the hills but flying down them giggling all the way.

I walked down that road today. I savored the warm sun and tried to stop my brain from analyzing and culminating all the information that lies within. I saw the graceful way the bays in the field pranced around. I heard the birds busy with their day. One more piece of my journey down this thickly overgrowned pathway. Do you go the road expected or down the road of mystery?

Ta ta for now....

Last evening I had the privilege to enjoy a night out with some folks I know. It was in celebration of a family friend's birthday. We went to eat Mexican food, a great start to an evening I think, and then watched the newest in a long line of Star Trek movies. I wouldn't say I am a Trekkie. I was born at a time when there wasn't much to watch and my mom liked the original series. So I knew Capt. Kirk and Spock at an early age. My friend, however, is kind of a Trekkie and so he encouraged us all to be in full Trekkie mode for the celebration. I would have dressed up but I couldn't decide which one to be. The movie was good. It seem to stay pretty close to the original series which was nice.

This week is finals at school. I am both overwhelmed and scared. I keep thinking about that saying... the final frontier. I feel like my life has kind of come to a final frontier moment. If I don't put my bottom in gear I am going to miss the ship. Then I wonder... is this the right ship. There are things in my life that make me question my decision to follow this path. Questioning if I can overcome the hurdles, can I really make a difference, and can I really benefit anyone? I don't know. The older I get the more I realize I don't have one bit of a clue to anything. I have lots of info in my brain. How to make a pie... make pie crust... flour, shortening, cold water, salt... choose filling... apple, cherry, chocolate, lemon, coconut... the further into that pie I get the more decisions and thought I have to put into it until eventually I just can't go back. So though I know I can get so far with little thought, eventually I have to make a decision that determines things I can't change.

Ever wonder where you are going? Ta ta for now....

Who is the better cook?

About this blog

This blog is a rambling of different thoughts, subjects and ideas. The world has many things to offer and what might be contained on theses pages is anyones guess. Enjoy.

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