Tonight I was with some folks. The normal pleasantries were exchanged: How are you. I'm fine and you... The whole exchange brought to mind a scene in a movie I like, “Yours, Mine and Ours.” I will try to set up the scene for you.... Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball have started dating. Both widowers (it still wasn't kosher to be divorced then), Henry decides to take Lucy home to meet the kids... the 10 kids. The children, under orders to be their best manners, have cook dinner and got the adults their drinks. Now I don't know if anyone else has ever been the child of a parent dating but what happens next seems inevitable. The older boys are in charge of getting Lucy a drink. So one of them fixes the drink, another helps out by putting a bit more liqueur in it and the server decides it needs just a tad more of something else. Poor Lucy has just been served a dive bomber and is going to be blown out of the water. Being the polite person that she is, as any person would be, she drinks her drink, raising her glass and proclaims it is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... I bet Lucy.
So where am I going with this right. It seems like even in the worst situations we are trained to be pleasant and cordial. How are you someone asks? Trained response: Great, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... All the way up until we do what poor Lucy did and dump mash potatoes in the poor unsuspecting little girl's lap. It seems best for everyone if we put anything other than being wonderful out of sight and mind. Well that is until we pick up something like a drink, or food or sex and say wonderful wonderful wonderful.
I have heard that many times when we don't deal with the stuff that is going on inside of us than that stuff deals with us. We find other outlets and become abusers and users all to be able to put on the wonderful front. We binge and purge, or spend. We do whatever it takes so that the world never has to know that we aren't wonderful.
Now I realize that there is a time and place for letting it all hang loose. But let it not be at rehab. Nothing harder than having to compete for hanging out the laundry with strangers.
Take time, don't let things eat at ya, and forgive.
Ta ta for now.
Baking By The Numbers
2 years ago
2 comments:
forgiveness is the word of the month in our town right now. It's on reader boards, in the newspaper, and on everyone's lips.
A great message to remember!
I´m lucky enogh to have friends that really says how it is. If anyone of us have a problem we try to figure out to solve it. But I know what You mean. To many people are polite till death takes them, if You understand what I mean.
Christer.
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